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Monkey Island Insults

Monkey Island Insults

Last update 

Learn all the comebacks

Items (33)

  • This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!

    And I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?

  • Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!

    First you better stop waiving it like a feather-duster.

  • My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!

    So you got that job as janitor, after all.

  • People fall at my feet when they see me coming.

    Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

  • I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

    He must have taught you everything you know.

  • You make me want to puke.

    You make me think somebody already did.

  • Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.

    You run THAT fast?

  • You fight like a dairy farmer.

    How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

  • I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!

    I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.

  • Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?

    Why, did you want to borrow one?

  • I've heard you were a contemptible sneak.

    Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all.

  • You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.

    I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

  • You have the manners of a beggar.

    I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.

  • I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down!

    Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

  • There are no words for how disgusting you are.

    Yes there are. You just never learned them.

  • I've spoken with apes more polite then you.

    I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.

  • I've got a long, sharp lesson for you you to learn today.

    And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?

  • My tongue is sharper then any sword.

    First you better stop waving it like a feather-duster.

  • My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island!

    So you got that job as janitor, after all.

  • My wisest enemies run away at the first sight of me!

    Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

  • Only once have I met such a coward!

    He must have taught you everything you know.

  • If your brother's like you, better to marry a pig.

    You make me think somebody already did.

  • No one will ever catch ME fighting as badly as you do.

    You run THAT fast?

  • I will milk every drop of blood from your body!

    How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

  • My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood.

    I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.

  • I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape.

    Why, did you want to borrow one?

  • My sword is famous all over the Caribbean!

    Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all.

  • I've got the courage and skill of a master swordsman!

    I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.

  • Every word you say to me is stupid.

    I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.

  • You are a pain in the backside, sir!

    Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

  • There are no clever moves that can help you now.

    Yes there are. You just never learned them.

  • Now I know what filth and stupidity really are.

    I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.

  • I usually see people like you passed-out on tavern floors.

    Even BEFORE they smell your breath?